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[16 Mar 2006|08:44am] |
Aaron Martinez
Period 2
Suicide a Serious Subject
In William Shakespeare's play "The Tragedy of Hamlet Prince of Denmark" we can see that suicide is a strong subject. Analazying shakespeare's "Hamlet" there is moral and religious values. Ophelia's death was nothing short of suicide, something caused by her own harm. Throughtout the play there is much edivence to show that Hamlets thoughts are on the subject. Why is it that although capable of suicide, most human beings choose to live, despite the cruelty, pain, and injustice of the world?
One of the most famous lines that comes out of William Shakespeare's "Hamlet" is "To be or not to be, that is the question." Here he suggest the idea of living or not living. Knowing he has the opportunity to kill himself, why doesn't he? It maybe a hard concept to understand, why wouldn't he kill himself but in his mind set he has his reason. Who knows maybe the reason might that he knew if he took his own life he wasn't going to get the chance to get revenge for his fathers death. Letting the current king, his fathers brother, win and getting away with the horrible crime of murdering his own brother. Another reason, maybe it was because deep down he knew he was in love with Ophelia, yet only in secret was he allowed to tell her. He choose to live out the short life he did, but in the end he set out to do what he needed to do.
In the beginning of the the play King Hamlet is murdered by his own brother in attempt to take over the thrown and gave power by marrying his sister in law. He was success in what he set out to do, yet no one knew how the death of the king took place. That is until he reappears to Hamlet, his son, and states to him how he was killed. After finding this out, Hamlet has no choice but to get revenge for the death of his beloved father. In order for him to make it look like an accident he deceides that he must pretend to be crazy. The more he pretends to be crazy the more it seems less and less like pretend, but more like he is. When the king finds out he knows what really happened, Hamlets sent to England on a death journey. Only to return in a matter of weeks and find his dear love Ophelia dead. How you wonder? Suicide, death to herself.
Killed herself you say? Ophelia turned mad and drowned herself in the near by lake. Why? who knows, maybe it was because he dear love was sent on a journey which he was never suppose to return from. Why was she given a Christian bruail if she committed murder to her own self? By order of the high and mighty king. She was giving a Christian ceremony and bruied in a plot. Did this turn Halmet more crazy then he already was? Maybe it really did turn him made this time?
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| No Ones FOoL |
[16 Sep 2005|11:22am] |
So im still here wondering why I do things and what purpose do things have in my life. Right now I cant help but wonder why Im me and why things in my life dont seem to be always going right for me. Why cant I be happy. Im tired of playing games and im tired of everyone put me through all this bullshit and it still a mystery to me. As time moves on I just keep falling further and away from things that matter to me for once in my life. I run and keep running, because i dont want people to see me and see what i have done to myself and the people around me. FUCK!!! I get a headache all the time now and im really stressing myself out with the many things that seem to be perfect and good for me. WORK SUCKS. I miss going out as much as i useto, I feel stranded and stuck with no where to go. I Lost many important people in my life, Someone who was a good friend now doesnt even call me back or even answer my IMS. But hey what can i do, thats his choice and i guess that hes happy doing what he does and hes happy with things hes done. Im tired of people playing games with my emotion and im tired of them using Me. So here it is, NO....Screw you and everything that you stand for. Im tired of be played. Im no ones toy or play thing.
Im oUT
Later DayZ
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| New VanS |
[23 Aug 2005|10:02am] |
my new vans!!
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| MIsMatchedROmance |
[28 Jul 2005|12:06pm] |
Life:
hey whats new. Its been a while since I've updated this thing but Im going to get back in the habit of writing again. Just to get things out and to get my mind clear. So Ive been working mornings now that school is out. So that I can go out and nite and in the afternoon. I like that a lot better because I get to do all more things. but I guess the love life is still nothing. I thought that i had someone who was potential only to be trick and me getting fucked over in the end. But hey its there choice and if they want someone who lives about an hr away then thats fine by me. Im not bitter. Partying has been the same. Just about every week i try to get out and do something so that i dont stay home and waste away like nothing. Ive been working out more and more to get my body into the shape that i want it.
Yesterday i got a letter informing me when i take my senior pic. I take it on the 4th of August at 1:40pm. Im pretty sure that i will postpone it because i dont want to worry about it being soo soon.
well thats about it for right now
IM out
Later dayz
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| Just cheCk in!!! |
[03 Jun 2005|02:01pm] |
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LiFe:
So Im sitting here in the upstairs library with Anitta and Kevin..We so ditched 4th together but our normal spot we were kicked out because they have to go get some stupid number for a race..o well..hahah..So here trying to stay out of the way of the halls...hahaha...Damn I just want Junior yr to b over..Only 9 or 8 dayz left then im free for 3 months...woot woot...
StYLe:
Work:
I havent been workin much lately and thats because not only did they cut hours but now they more employees and that means less hours for us all...
Well im out four now
Later daYZ
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| WHisPer |
[09 May 2005|01:18pm] |
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LyRics:
YING YANG TWINS - Wait Lyrics
Hey how you doin lil mama? lemme whisper in your ear
Tell you sunthing that you might like to hear
You got a sexy ass body and your ass look soft
Mind if i touch it? and see if its soft
Naw i'm jus playin' lets just say i can
And im known to be a real nasty man
And they say a closed mouth dont get fed
So i dont mind asking for your head
You heard what i said, we need to make our way to the bed
And you can start usin' yo head
You like to fuck, have yo legs open all in da butt
Do it up slappin ass cuz the sex gets rough
Switch the positions and ready to get down to business
So you can see what you've been missin'
You might had some but you never had none like this
Just wait til you see my dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Wait til you see my dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Imma beat dat pussy up
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Wait you see my dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Imma beat dat pussy up
Like B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM,
B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM,
B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy
Up, Beat da pussy up
[verse 2]
You fine, but i aint gone sweat ya
See i wanna fuck, tell me whats up
Walk around the club with yo thumb in ya mouth
Put my dick in, take your thumb out
There might be a lil ? to deal with
Wet ? hope they dont spill shit
I keep a hoe hot when i'm puttin' in work
Wanna skeet skeet you bout to get your feelin's hurt
Cuz I'll beat dat cat with a dog
And knock da walls of a broad til she scrawl
Like (OOOOOH!)
Yea something like that, but it depends on the swing of the baseball bat
Fuck a bitch on da counter make the
Place fall mats
On the floor she aint screamin she a nut so they crack
Crack...crack
Fuck that bend over imma give you the dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Wait til you see my dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Imma beat dat pussy up
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Wait you see my dick
Ay bitch! wait til you see my dick
Imma beat dat pussy up
Like B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM,
B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM, B-AM
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy up, Beat da pussy up,
Beat da pussy
Up, Beat da pussy up
(OOOOOOOH!)
18af
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| Bored in the Upstairs Libary |
[04 May 2005|09:53am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Green Day-Wake up when September Ends |
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TOdaY:
FucK Im sitting here bored in the Upstais libary of my HS....Adriana is sitting next to me and were suppose to b looking for info on the decade we got....but I have a computer at home and i can do it a lot more easily at home....
ReCenTLy
THings have been going ok for me and i guess that im getting useto the fact that people are somewhat not assholes...Im hope that everything that is going good in my life contunes to stay that and i guess that im gonna just have to get useto the other things that are there....
WorK:
It sucks so bad and im pretty sure that in the next month or so im gonna b leaving and finding another job...because currently this week I only work one day and i dont even think that i can work that day because im going to Prom...so im pretty sure that im going to give it to melissa...
Life:
Lately there has been people that i was trying to see but i guess its not really working out...I thought that i found someone who i was gonna contunie to see but it didnt work out because they were busy talking to other people at the same time..So ya..
Well Im out for now
Later daYz
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| The SiMple Things Of Life |
[10 Apr 2005|12:08pm] |
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This is how gay guys want to be treated
1 . Tell him he is handsome, not hot.
2 . Hold his hand at any moment even if its just for a second.
3 . Kiss him on the forehead.
4 . Leave him voice messages to wake up to.
5 . Always tell him how handsome he is, no matter what he's wearing.
6 . When he is upset hold him tight and tell him how much he means to you.
7 . Recognize the small things . . . THEY USUALLY MEAN THE MOST!
8 . Call him baby
9 . Sing to him no matter how horrible your voice is.
10 . Pick him over all the other guys you hang out with.
11 . Write him notes. {he loves them}
12 . Introduce him to family and friends as your boyfriend.
13 . Play with his hair.
14 . Pick him up, tickle him and play-wrestle with him.
15 . Sit in the park and just talk to him.
16 . Tell him funny jokes, tell him stupid jokes, just tell him jokes.
17 . Throw pebbles at him window in the middle of the night just because you missed him.
18 . Let him fall asleep in your arms.
19 . Carve your names into a tree.
20 . If he's mad at you, apologize because HE is always right. (personally not a big one for me)
21 . CUDDLE!!!!!!!!!!
22 . Bring him flowers just because.
23 . Treat him the same around your friends as you do when you're alone.
24 . Look him in the eyes and smile.
25 . Let him take as many pictures of you as he wants.
26 . Slow dance with him, even if there isn't any music playing.
27 . Kiss him in the rain.
28 . If your in love with him . . . Tell him
Im Out
Later daYz
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[27 Mar 2005|07:47pm] |
"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
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| LosTinMyseLfThoUGhTsanDHoPes |
[22 Jan 2005|08:38am] |
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mood |
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blah |
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music |
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Ozone- |
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Ok so im startin here with just the thoughts that i have in my head...I cant understand sometimes why i start to feel so alone and that everything in my whole wide world is caving in...AHHHH....So ya right now im not getting enough hours at work and i need and want more....so that i can get to pay for everything that i need to...otherwise im broke for a while....Ive been going clubbin lately and enjoying myself and dancin the whole night away....Skools been a bunch of bullshit and crazyass crap...Too much drama...I just go to go because i have to...I have class right now that dont do anything for me....I just dont understand y they didnt get me these class at the end of the year instead of the middle...I hate being home thats y i dont update as much.....right now im lost because im crushin on someone yet like 50 million people are too and they swear that they are ugly and shit...RIGHT....so moving...wow too many thoughts are going thru my head....well right now i cant type anymore...
IM out
Later dayz
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| LAbeLsLoveHuRTandHatE |
[17 Nov 2004|03:01pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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LiFe:
"Why is a relationship so hard????Because being alone is the only thing Harder..."
Last night I heard this said and i was like this is so true....I dont understand why but it is....HELP ME.. I hate myself and my life so much....Maybe its time to go...Just to go and move...Maybe they were right in trying to send me somewhere else...New start on things and new things....
WoRk:
Work is going and im trying to keep on the bright side...but honestly i just dont feel like doing much of anything anymore..fuck it...Nothing is every going to go good for me or even if it does it was meant to fail...Fuck what cant it just b right????
SKooL:
Skools going ok i guess...but yet i hate it so much and i fucking hate the fact that so many people put labels on you...Fucking labels...So all of a sudden im a fucking Prep because i wear A&F and Shop at Hollister and like other things...fuck I hate the fact...grrr... it gets me mad how then they call me white or anything...so its like ok i guess im white..or even look at it...fuck .....grrr....I guess that i get label...maybe i just need to go to La serna with all the other white people and where they wont actuall treat me like shit...fuck....I think they were right about me changing skools this year and i kinda regret it so bad right now...maybe i should because my finals are done this week and i can just go into a new skool with a new outlook.........
My THouGHTs
I guess that im just hurting so bad and trying to hold on to something that i thought was meant to be but the other person hurt me so bad...I guess my words and my heart mean nothing and I was meant to fail on all levels...Yet it hurts more just thinking back on the whole weekend and the whole time i was there.....Nothing but lies to me....my feels meant nothing and everything was meant to fall...fuck cant i just take things back and try it over again....I guess they didnt love me the same way that i loved them.....It was the 1st time that ive ever loved anyone.......FUCK>>>>>just kill me now....let me have some happiness....Just fix everything and me have some happiness..I just cant take things right now...I just want to stop and cry...No looking back and hey if it happens then no regerts and just live like theres no tomorrow...because N my mind there is no tomorrow...just live for today.....
P>S.
HereS a New PIX
Im out for Now
Later dayz
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[20 Sep 2004|09:53pm] |
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Moi Je m'appelle Aaron.
Je suis americain.
Je suis de Whittier.
J'ai seize ans.
Mon anniversaire c'est le dix-huit avril.
Voici ma mere
Elle s'appelle Margaret.
Elle est americiane.
Elle est de Whittier.
Elle a trente-huit ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le dix-huit juin.
Voici mon pere.
Il s'appelle Albert.
Il est americain.
Il est de San Bernando.
Il a quarante ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le seize mai.
Voici mon frere.
Il s'appelle Anthony.
Il est americain.
Il est de Whittier.
Il a dix-huit ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le vingt-quarte decembre.
Voici mon frere.
Il s'appelle Adrian.
Il est americain.
Il est de South Pasadena.
Il a dix-huit ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le vingt-quarte decembre.
Voici ma seour.
Elle s'appelle Avery.
Elle est americaine.
Elle est de Whittier.
Elle a six ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le vingt-deux novembre.
Voici ma grand-mere.
Elle s'appelle Linda.
Elle est americaine.
Elle est de Cypress.
Elle a cinquante-huit ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le vingt et une Avril.
Voici mon grand-pere.
Il s'appelle Joe.
Il est americain.
Il est de Whittier.
Il a sioxante et une ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le vingt-six septembre.
Voici ma tante.
Elle s'appelle Jolie.
Elle est americaine.
Elle est de South Pasadena.
Elle a trente-cinq ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le dix-neuf septembre.
Voici mon oncle.
Il s'appelle Joe.
Il est americain.
Il est de Pico Rivera.
Il a trente-deux ans.
Son anniversaire c'est le quatre mars.
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[14 Sep 2004|09:22pm] |
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Perfect
I looked in the mirror today
Perfectly groomed
Perfectly dressed
Perfect little smile
I looked at my resume today
Perfectly straight A's
Class President
Perfect little student
I looked at my family today
Perfect parents
Perfect Sibling
Big white house
And money to spare
I looked at my disposition today
Perfectly Perky
With sugar-coated sweetness
That must make other sick
I looked at myself today
Never sastisfied with all I have
Always wanting more
Insecure,searching
Hopeless,broken-hearted
Pretentious,superficial
Obsessed with how
I appear to others
Not as perfect
As one would think
MY perfection is only as stable
As the blurry image in the mirror
Of a not-so-perfect guy
Who can't even decipher
The source of his own
Imperfect tears,
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[12 Sep 2004|10:08pm] |
Does making school uniforms mandatory in public schools increase the school reputation, and better the atomosphere-or do they? Although uniforms are commonly found in private schools mainly, many public schools across the nation are accepting this Polic. But are students happy? Do they feel any safer or is the school getting any better? Schools may think that its a better way for students to come together as one-but is it really? Students are people with real feelings and decession to make on their own, future adults, and soon to be leaders of the world.
Are schools any safer with uniform policies? Do students actually perform better or take more pride in their school? Many people state that uniforms increase safety and will cut back on crime in the places where over whemeling crime is found,but thereis little data to suggest that uniforms actually decrease school violence. So how can we say that school violence will decrease when in fact we have little edivence to prove this theory. Violence is something that starts with one person, not what he or she is wearing. Violence is something that is taught by parents, friends, and other family members. The clothing on a person is just the clothing but the person inside
is a whole different story. As they say you cant judge a book by its cover.
Academic performance is another area where uniforms tend to get credit where there should be no credit given. Only in a few classes have schools that have adopted uniforms have seen
improvement on test scores."However, many sociologists have looked at the effect of uniforms on students in a 1998 study and found that uniforms actually had a negative effect on academic
achievement. Many sociologists also found that students wearing uniforms in both private and public schools,that uniforms didn't do much to increase school pride," rescearch and stated by Shane Young.
Do uniforms improve the social setting of schools by taking attention away from designer clothing and fashion? Your years as a teenager is a course of time when many people feel awkward and the way that you dress could make your break your high school career. On the other hand,young people are also trying to establish their identity and clothing can be a great way to take risks.Clothing is a way that many people express themself, some people go for certain looks or styles,while others just wear what they like or expresses how they feel.One thing that does not often get mentioned by adults and experts is the fact that uniforms are now being made by huge clothing manufacturers like DKNY, Esprit, and Bugle Boy. "The NPD Group, a market research company in New York, estimated that parents spent $900 million on uniforms for elementary school children in 1998. That comes out to about 7 percent of the total amount spent on children's clothing and this number has mostly likely risen since then with the total number of school adopting school uniformpolicies," was what was reported by David Jenson.As teens become older, they begin to recognize more divisions in society and start choosing who it is they want to be associated with based on some personal characteristic or interest.Even when uniforms are mandatory, students are going to find another way to show a way to express themsleves such as: epense shoes,and Patches or pins on jackets or backpacks.
Children who are being properly raised have very little control in their lives as it is. Their parents control what they can do and when they can do it. The one thing they control is their freedom of expression. Students can express themselves in their style and parents will even censor this to some degree.In order to prepare our children for the real world, which is what education is all about, they need to be exposed to people from all walks of life with differing ideas and opinions. Teenagers need to develop minds of their own.Schools already have sufficient dress codes prohibiting inappropriate clothing although many teachers do not enforce them adequately. This is reminiscent of the "zero tolerance" policy, another initiative designed to make schools safer. Policies only work if they are enforced. It is also necessary to have every parent on board, but often this is not the case.Raising a well-behaved, socially and morally responsible child begins at home and it is hard work. Education is part of a parent's job.Parenting should not be part of the educator's job.
Uniforms in schools arent always the answer for schools who have low in test scores. You have the consider the way it will affect students and their way of life. Not only do you affect them but you can have a negative affect on their future. Not everything good for adults is good for teenagers or even childern. Teenagers are people just like everyone else, we think, we live and we all have our own lives to live. By trying to control students freedom of expression your only show them how to judge people by the what there wearing and not who they. If you feel as strong opinion on this subject please do not be afraid to express your opinion and let someone know. There are many ways for you to get your opinion heard, the school board meets on many occasions you can go there and tell them how you feel. Theres always writing letters to the prinical of your son and daughter school.Remember your opinion as well as other parents does matter, be heard.
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| YesTERdaYsCONceRtandTodaY |
[05 Sep 2004|09:31pm] |
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Friday...
I went to movies and was talked into buying a ticket for saturday project revolution tour..Went to the movies with boomer and monique and saw paparazzi...It was really good damn thos crazy ass actors and paparazzis...
Saturday....
Yesterday i went to a good concert....I ended up buying a ticket and hitching a ride with boomer and her mom and monique..The used so awesome but the fucking crowd..Damn the sucked so bad...everyone was like fuck this shit and not doing anything...I was so mad...This fucking old guy thru a cup of water at people that were moshing...I was like wtf..The used played so awesome..Less than Jake dissappointed me..They were all being dumb..Talking shit..I was like stfu and play already..Damn u swear...Autopoilt off was good too...Then we ended up going back to boomers and going to towne center and getting smoothies from boarders and then we went home...It was a pretty fun day...
Sunday...
Today i went to uptown and went to movies and saw whicker park..It was actually pretty good...we had a good time..then we went walking around uptown and when we were going back to get picked up someone yelled my name from rocky cola and i turned and saw a glimpse of them and i couldnt go back because her mom was already there and i was like damn..So i still dont know who it was..Ill find out tuesday prolly...
Fuck man i hate my life things always seem to go wrong for me and damn why do i always have to b the friend..everyone says that they see me as the friend and its starting to totally suck so bad..i feel so hurt inside and shit...Damn I wish i could find someone for me...yet I cant because nobody wants me..I thought i found someone..Yet again Im just a fucking friend and it hurts so bad...Fuck man i hate just being the fucking friend...well i guess thats just me a loserkid for life...the friend nothing more nothing less
Lyric of the day:
Less than Jake
Look What Happened (Last Time)
And I swear it's the last time and I swear it's my last try
and we'll walk in circles around this whole block
walk on the cracks of the same old sidewalks
then we'll talk about leaving town
yeah we'll talk about leaving
I swear it's the last time, and I swear it's my last try
We rode across that bridge all night
we talked our way through city lights
traced all the lines, we're killing time
under those buzzing signs
from downtown to anywhere but here
tonight, yeah, I swear to these rooftops
and just hoped that car would never stop
[Chorus:]
And I swear it's the last time and I swear it's my last try
and we'll walk in circles around this whole block
walk on the cracks of the same old sidewalks
and we'll talk about leaving town
and we'll talk about leaving
I swear it's the last time and I swear it's my last try
We drove around this place all night
past closed signs and familiar sights
we're moving by, passing time
counting those center lines
with 20,000 lines left to go
that lead to somewhere I don't know
it might be the time that we leave this all behind
[Chorus]
And there's been a few times
that we thought it felt right
to take all the westbound signs
and just leave town tonight
And I swear it's the last time and I swear it's my last try
and we'll walk in circles around this whole block
walk on the cracks of the same old sidewalks
and we'll talk about leaving town
yeah we'll talk about leaving
I swear it's the last time and I swear it's my last try
and I swear it's my last try
and we'll talk about leaving town
and we'll talk about leaving town
Im out for now
Later dayz
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| EmoAsTimeTicksBy |
[01 Sep 2004|07:22pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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music |
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Everclear-Father Of mine |
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Today was kinda a blur...I dont like to think about it...Just too much went wrong and I guess Im stuck in dealing with it..Fuck..THeres goes my life again...Story of my life..Nothing but a shit load of drama..but hey nothing ever seems to go my way do its nothing new...I guess thats what im stuck dealing with..Me..Just the one damn loserkid who doesnt know what to do with his life..I mean hey what the fuck is wrong with me..I cant help the way i am..I mean I try to b something im not all the time..Ive been me..Didnt work..Trying being someone else...I dont know what Im suppose to be..Who am I suppose to be..Just this outcast...With no one to turn to...I guess thats just me..One kid who tried to make a difference and failed..Yet I cant figure out whats wrong with me..I just want this feeling to go away...I want something real..SOmething thats worth it...Fuck ...IM Just a big Nobody..With nothing to look forward to..Everything I was looking forward is taken from me..I just get left there all alone..I wish I could make something of my life..but I guess im just destiny to b that loserkid for life...Nothing more and Nothing less...Just A loserkid....
Lyrics of the day..
Everclear
Wonderful...
"Hey, ain't life wonderful? Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful... Isn't it wonderful now?"
I close my eyes when I get too sad
I think thoughts that I know are bad
Close my eyes and I count to ten
Hope it's over when I open them
I want the things that I had before
Like a Star Wars poster on my bedroom door
I wish I could count to ten
Make everything be wonderful again
Hope my mom and I hope my dad
Will figure out why they get so mad
Hear them scream, I hear them fight
They say bad words that make me wanna cry
Close my eyes when I go to bed
And I dream of angels who make me smile
I feel better when I hear them say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world's so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
Tell me everything is wonderful now
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now
I go to school and I run and play
I tell the kids that it's all okay
I laugh aloud so my friends won't know
When the bell rings I just don't wanna go home
Go to my room and I close my eyes
I make believe that I have a new life
I don't believe you when you say
Everything will be wonderful someday
Promises mean everything when you're little
And the world is so big
I just don't understand how
You can smile with all those tears in your eyes
When you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
No
No, I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
I don't wanna hear you say
That I will understand someday
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna hear you say
You both have grown in a different way
No, no, no, no
I don't wanna meet your friends
And I don't wanna start over again
I just want my life to be the same
Just like it used to be
Some days I hate everything
I hate everything
Everyone and everything
Please don't tell me everything is wonderful now...
I don't wanna hear you tell me everything is wonderful now
Im out for now...
Later dayz
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| IdunnoWHatTodoWithmYselF |
[28 Aug 2004|11:33pm] |
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mood |
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music |
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Save ferris-nobody but me |
] |
Currently Im so confused with my life...I dont know what to do or whats going...Im so out of it..My life feels so wasted..I hate this feeling of being single..I want something real..Something more then just some a person to talk to..Im just dazzed and confussed..Right now im lost...My life feels so worthless..Damn im so emo...But i cant help it and i wish i could..Things just never seem to go right for me..I just wish i could make the pain go away...I cant figure out why im the one who always has to be unhappy tomorrow is a new day..everyone says look forward to that new day...but why..why should i..Life isnt always fair and I cant seem to figure out why we cant all make it fair...Life isnt always the way we want it to b..but why...were suppose to make the best of this bs life..I cant stand it...fuck that shit..
Today was so long..1st I got up and I started to clean my room..Yet i didnt get to finish i went to a party for diana..It was pretty fun...I got to swim..and hang out for a while..but now my room looks like shit..I have homework to do and i cant fuck up this trimester..Its a new year...and a new way for us to start..junior year...Fuck..high schools almost over and then college up and then were out for own life...so much to think about and so much to get done...Just so lost on life right now..Fuck that shit...I cant handle this right now...I want things to b easy..but nobody said life would b easy...well Its getting pretty late and i dont feel like typing much..so I guess thats about it..
Lyrics....
Nobody But Me"
I was on the outside
Trying to find my way back in
You were the answer
I was searching for, my friend
Life is crazy when you're
Always on your own
It's amazing when you
Realize that you're not alone
I should have known
A long time ago that
You were the one for me
I let my ego bring me down
And that's what blinded me
Life is crazy when you
Don't know what you've done
And I'm a fool to think that
There could be
Someone else
When I know
There's no other one
I said baby
What are you doing
Who are you fooling
Nobody but me
I said baby
Give me some time
To change your mind
Come back to me
I was nothing before you
But I became so strong
Just when things were going right
I had to make them wrong
Life is crazy
When you let things slip away
And now I'm sorry
Ever since the day
You went away
I didn't mean to hurt you so
I never wanted you to go
Now there's nothing I can do
I spend my time
Late at night
Thinking only, about you
I said baby
What are you doing
Who are you fooling
Nobody but me
I said baby
Give me some time
To change your mind
Come back to me
Ever since you went away
I haven't been the same
Now there's nothing I can do
I was on the outside
Tryin' to find my way back in
And now I'm right back there again
Life is crazy
When you find you're all alone
But now maybe
You can change your mind
And come back home to me
Come back to me
Oh baby won't you
Please come back
-Save Ferris
Im out for now...
Later dayz
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| SUmmerIsWackandImLost |
[12 Aug 2004|11:31pm] |
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So now its another that has gone by and im just here..Its thrusday nite and time seems to fly by so fast..I mean hey schools gonna start soon if and were going to live our lives and time is gonna just go by..Summer is done and it just feels like we got out..
New Life..
Recently things have begun to change..For one my brothers are off to college..I still have 2 yrs left..Then i have to figure out what to do...
New Year...
New things to try this year..I want to accomplish goals.. I want change in my life...
I leave yall with a song...
Leave (Get Out)
I've been waiting all day for ya babe
So won't cha come and sit and talk to me
And tell me how we're gonna be together always
Hope you know that when it's late at night
I Hold on to my pillow tight
And think of how you promised me forever
(I never thought that anyone)
Could make me feel this way
(Now that you're here boy all I want)
Is just a chance to say
[Chorus]
Get Out, (leave) right now,
It's the end of you and me
It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone
'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies
You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)
Tell me why you're looking so confused
When I'm the one who didn't know the truth
How could you ever be so cold
To go behind my back and call my friend
Boy you must have gone and bumped your head
Because you left her number on your phone
(So now after all is said and done)
Maybe I'm the one to blame but
(To think that you could be the one)
Well it didn't work out that way
[Chorus]
I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave
Because my heart is breakin'
With every word I'm sayin'
I gave up everything I had
On something that just wouldn't last
But I refuse to cry
No tears will fall from these
Eyeee-eeee-eeees
Ooooh, ooooh
Get out
[Chorus X3]
---JoJo
Im out for now
Later dayz
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[11 Aug 2004|09:05am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Yellowcard-Only One |
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Its been a while since ive gotten the chance to update my journal...I guess with the crazyness in my life its been pretty hard...I just cant figure out whats going on one minute im here and the next (wow) somethings changed so fast..Currently Im working at a camp where I get I chance to a make difference in the lives of younger kids..Some old too.. Stress factor always comes into play with me..I guess with busy lifestyle I Have i work so hard to keep myself together..Next years gonna be a big change..My brothers are off the college soon my sis now gonna be in 2nd grade..Me just 2 years left and im off..(Thinking about whats next for me in the crazy mixed up world..Hoping that I get somewhere in life and Im not just some punk ass kid who doesnt do shit with his life...)SkooLs gonna start soon and I dont even know what skool im going to go to...My mom hasnt made up her mind between the school..Idunno I want to go back to erhs..BUt maybe change would b a good thing..I just think its gonna b hella hard..Next weeks my last of camp and then im done home for the rest of the summer..Which to me feels like it keeps getting shorter and shorter..Damn pretty soon well have no summer (at the rate there going)...Ive been listening to a lot more music now..Its been helping me out..Idunno just sitting there and thinking getting it all out in the open helps me out a lot..I guess you can say im just some kid with no sense of direction for his life..You know what..THats no lie..I wish I knew what i wanted to do...Time keeps ticking by faster and faster..I just know one thing for sure...College is in my future and its gonna be something that Im gonna do...I have to get going now..SO i leave you with a song...
"Vindicated"
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated
[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isoloated, so motivated
I am certain now that
[Chorus]
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]
[Chorus]
Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
---Dashboard Confessional
IM out for now..
Later dayz
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| Update on life |
[18 Jul 2004|07:27am] |
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Its been a long since ive updated..Currently im working at camp and I am only able to check my email and update things on weekends..So much is going on in my life right now I Dont know where to begin..Someones talking shit to and Im so close to kicking his ass...So ya..Right now Its early in the morning and im gonna leave in a lil bit to go back to camp and work..Last nite was so much fun..Laurens sweet 16 was so nice and I have a blast just seeing people and being able to kick it them..Well right now Im gonna go and thats all i have to say now..Heres a song to tell u how i feel:
Call me out,
You stayed inside.
Run your love,
It's where you hide.
Shot me down,
As i flew by.
Crash and burn,
I need some sign,
To forget where the heart is..
Answer no,
To these questions.
Let her go,
Learn a lesson.
It's not me,
Your not listenin'.
Now can't you see,
Somthings missin'.
You forget where the heart is...
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
Solo
Waking up,
From this nightmare.
How's your life?
Whats it like there?
Is it all?
What you wanted it to be?
Does it hurt?
When you think about me?
And how broken my heart is...
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
Its ok to be angry,
And never let go.
It only gets harder,
The more that you know.
When you lonely,
If noones around.
You know that i'll catch you,
When your falling down.
We came together,
But you left alone.
And I know how it feels,
To walk out on your own.
Maybe someday,
I'll see you again.
You'll look into my eyes,
And call me your friend.
Take you away,
From that empty apartment.
You stay,
And forget where the heart is.
Someday,
If ever you love me.
You'd say,
It's ok...
It's Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
It's Okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.
-yellowcard
IM out
Later dayz
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